This week, I was thinking how much fun it would be to put two of Rod Stewart’s most hated songs (an arguable point in some circles, including mine) up against each other.

It was either that, or Sweet Sensation against something equally appalling. At present moment, I still love you all too much to do that.

And so here we are, folks.

I have to admit that as an 80’s child, “Love Touch” was one of the first Rod Stewart songs that turned my young impressionable music loving head and made me take notice of Stewart’s music. Stewart had made a slight dent with “Infatuation” (the video especially) and “Some Guys Have All The Luck,” but “Love Touch” was really the one that brought it all home.

Featured in the movie Legal Eagles with Robert Redford and Debra Winger, Stewart looked downright cool, and at home in the court room. Of course, I’d later learn that Rod’s love for the ladies had bought him mucho quality court time, which makes sense. And really, how could you not be fully at home with the jury in this video?

It didn’t take long for Rod to get on my bad side with the 1988 release of Out of Order – an album that put “Rod Stewart” and “overplayed” in the same sentence for me that year. “Lost In You,” “Forever Young,” thank GOD Rod threw me a slight bone with “My Heart Can’t Tell You No,” a fave of mine to this day! But then there was “Crazy About Her.” Damn him, by this point he was working on my last nerve.

But good old Rod found a way to quickly get back in my good graces with “Downtown Train.” I think at this point, I’ve thrown out nearly every single one of the song titles for @jukebox65’s most hated later period Rod Stewart songs.

But we’re not done, folks.

Oh no.

Meet the second contender in today’s battle, a battle in which Stewart gets to fight himself to the death.

With an album titled Vagabond Heart, you knew that there would be some hard rocking soon to be classic chestnuts on that one, didn’t you? You at least knew that Rod was on his way to getting laid backstage at another 200+ tour dates. The 1991 release of Vagabond Heart found Stewart trading up from a relationship with model Kelly Emberg to marriage #2, this time to model Rachel Hunter.

Ya’ll saw the Fountains of Wayne video for “Stacy’s Mom,” right? Hunter was a pretty good score, which is why Stewart was quoted at one point saying that he’d rather cut off his own member than cheat on Stewart. Which of course makes a lot of sense now since they are no longer together. What a guy.

Thank goodness he found room on Vagabond Heart for “Broken Arrow.”

Emotional. Heart felt. Written by Robbie Robertson.

What?

I kid you not. I had no idea about this little fact either, until a couple of weeks ago when I was doing a bit of random research, and came across the information. Robertson himself cut the track on his 1987 self-titled solo release, and somebody somewhere heard the track and whispered in Rod’s ear that “Broken Arrow” might be a good one to consider for the next trip to the recording studio.

Stewart agreed, but later got really pissed off that he couldn’t nail down what seemed like an easy number one single. I don’t actually have proof of the previous, but I can make an educated guess that after three straight years of nearly non-stop Rod on the radio, music fans might have been a bit tired of Rod the Bod. But they were still okay with giving Rod a peak position slot at #20 on the Billboard charts for this one.

I put it all in your hands – “Love Touch” or “Broken Arrow?” The ball is in your court now.